Thursday 31 January 2013

"HARLEY DAVIDSON 1948 PANHEAD" ['TRIJYA0BOSS'] . . . . HAVING COME TO 'LOVE' THE HARDLY-RIDEABLE RELATIVELY RECENTLY, IT'S STILL A MISSION TO SUCK UP KNOWLEDGE ON THE FINER POINTS OF MODEL DIFFERENTIATION . . . . DON'T MISCONSTRUE MY MEANING, EVEN AS A LIFER FOR POMMY BIKES I ALWAYS KNEW A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO REGARDING THE MILWAUKEE MARVEL.

I mean, fuck, it's a bike isn't it, albeit a much larger, somewhat agricultural one in some cases. but what with Linkerts, Scheblers, Super E and B's, wishbones, straightlegs, bow legs, pan-shovels, genny-shovels, slab shovels, K series, Sporties, Duos, Hydras and Electras, a bloke can get a little fucked up on the minutae and micro detail that lifts and seperates one model from another.

Despite my great interest in the MoCo's history over the last nearly thirty years and having read stuff like Harry Sucher et al cover to cover, and been in the presence of both bikes and riders for an equally protracted time, all info stored in the old grey matter has been an accidental accumulation, nothing deliberate or thought out as it used to be with the Trumpies and other Pommy kit I lusted after for so long . . . . and now owning two of the bloody things also goes a long way to self enlightenment as well.

Back to the thrust of my blurb here, apart from eagerly seeking out input every time I now chat to a bloke riding something from the H-D dark past that the 'Factory' so nicely wants nothing to do with at a workshop level, the interthingy has really given me the opportunity to 'see' a shitload more of the old gold from Messrs Harley and Davidson's company than I could ever have imagined even ten years ago, PooTube, the blogs I follow and their often learned operators, random stuff from all over the computer universe, they have all given me a chance to learn so much more about the marque I swore I'd never own . . . . the accompanying video selection is fucking cracker insight and example of what appears to me to be a pretty perfectly stock '48 panhead, one of the truly milestone post WWII products of the the company that was once known as the Milwaukee Marvel . . . . I know sweet F.A when compared to many out there but if you like learning as I do, then the net can be a killer classroom as much as it can be nothing more than a bucket of shit.

Wednesday 30 January 2013

"1975 MOTOCROSS - THE STADIUM PHENOMENON PT 2 OF 3" ['247MOTO'] . . . . I'M UNSURE EXACTLY WHEN THE STADIUM CAPER GOT GOING BUT IT MUSTA BEEN A COUPLE OF YEARS PRE '75 . . . . OUT HERE IN OZ BEFORE THE INTERNET, CABLE AND SPORTS T.V, ALL WE HAD WAS MAGAZINES . . . . MARTY SMITH, VIA MY SUB TO 'M/X ACTION', WAS MY HERO . . . . IT WAS KINDA LIKE DOGTOWN GOES BERM BUSTING.

It was pretty much like the skateboard thing, all around the world from late 1975 there were thousands of kids like me avidly reading the re-released 'Skateboarder', thumbing through 'Surfer' and 'Surfing' just to get an eyeful of these dudes from Santa Monica that were laying down a whole new trip, the lines, the look, the entire fucking thing was so different to what had gone before, no fucking gumby tricks, no pretty boys just all aggression and attitude . . . . well, to me, the same was true of Marty Smith and his FMF tweaked, blood red, CR in this thing called Stadium Motocross that was all happening concurrently with the new blood skate revival and what were the beginnings of the punk scene. He was young, totally amped and the epitome of all that was cutting edge cool, surrounded by veteran pedallers from the world over who had gone to the States to have a crack at the glitzy grandchild of what was once 'scrambles' . . . . it's funny looking back because I didn't get to see any real footage of him until 1979 just before I finished school but the photos of Smith on the pages of 'Motocross Action' seemed as though they were actually moving as my eyes strained to suck in every detail, each new issue would be about picking Marty Smith in any tight group shot, constantly reading and re reading anything about him and his bikes . . . . getting my paws on a FMF tee shirt became a grail like quest that was only ultimately fulfilled in the early nineties when I was a partner at Classic Bike Tune, I wore that fucker like a second skin for about five years until it was more holes than fabric, after a gig one night a well known then 500cc World Champion rider, with a head full of beer, which for Mick wasn't much, offered me two hundred bucks for it thinking it was from the original batch back in the seventies . . . . yeah, I still have the tee . . . . Marty fucking Smith, the bloke who took it all to a new level, what a total ruler . . . . Fearless Mother Fucker !!!
HOW LOW CAN YOU GO . . . BAR HOPPING SMITH STYLE
BACK THEN NOBODY HAD A CLUE . . . SHORT AND SNAKEY, WTF???
REAL DIRT DOGS WEAR LEATHER . . . DIG THE HOST'S GET UP

Saturday 26 January 2013

"STRAYA DAY" . . . . MIKEEYRAT JUST ALERTED ME TO THIS BRILLIANT PIECE OF CULTURAL SHOCK TACTICS . . . . EVERY AUSSIE DAY GETS JUST A LITTLE MORE LIKE THE SHIT DEPICTED IN THIS SO CLOSE TO THE BONE PISSTAKE . . . . SEEMS TO BE VERY LITTLE ENLIGHTENMENT AMONG MANY OF MY COUNTRYMEN REGARDING WHAT SHOULD BE THE REAL EMPHASIS OF THIS DAY . . . . XENOPHOBIC, SURELY NOT ???

IF YOU WATCH THIS AND START TO FEEL EITHER UNCOMFORTABLE OR LIKE YOU'RE LOOKING INTO A FUCKED UP MIRROR . . . . CHANCES ARE YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM I'M TALKING ABOUT . . . . OPEN YOUR MIND OSTRAYA . . . . BLIND, DUMB, RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC JINGOISM IS A DISEASE BEST CURED BY INSTANT DEATH . . . . ENJOY THE FREEBY BEER SWILLING HOLIDAY . . . . YOU'RE NO 'MATE' OF MINE. 

Saturday 19 January 2013

QUARRY MOUNTAIN DEAD RATS "COATTAILS" . . . . FROM THE MEAN STREETS OF MELBOURNE VIA THE MUSICAL BACKWOODS OF APPALACHIA AND THE HOME OF THE BLUEGRASS GENEPOOL . . . . FILE THIS ONE UNDER 'OZ KICKS ANOTHER WINNER' AND YOU'LL BE ON THE RIGHT TRACK . . . . THIS AIN'T NO PARTY, THIS AIN'T NO DISCO, THIS AIN'T NO FOOLIN AROUND . . . . PICK THAT FUCKER TIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED !!!

The J's ain't what they used to be but when it comes to 'Unearthing' serious truckloads of mega talented bands, Australia's National Broadcaster is still second only to its parent operation, the mighty Beeb in the Old dart, not even the States can lay claim to a legit national radio station with the musical integrity and commitment to the artists who struggle outside the bland and torpid corporate shitzone of commercial airplay for the recognition they deserve and would otherwise never receive . . . . enter these urban punkgrass kinghitters and their shit hot take on real roots music that started getting attention late last year on the Triple J network, before and after the recording and release of their debut album, "Bloodhound Killed My Squeezebox", these guys go off like a frog in a sock and I can just imagine them killing it at any bike related gig you could mention . . . . BF5 would be fucking perfect, how about it Mike and Grant . . . . get em over to the Ranch and rock the joint !!!!  Plus, there's a helluva lotta facial hair going on, and clearly heaps of you guys dig the whole hirsute hairsuit fursuit thang. 

Friday 18 January 2013

"RE SOULD", SAVING THE FUTURE FROM HAVING NO PAST . . . . LOUIE AND MIKEY'S SHRINE TO ALL THAT IS COOL IN HOME DECOR FROM THE 50's TO THE 70's . . . . ALL THE STUFF THAT MAKES ME FEEL WARM AND FUZZY . . . . AND QUITE LIKE THE SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY BEING BLOWN OUT BY THE FLOWER POWER THING . . . . MY PARENTS WERE SQUARES . . . . I ONLY GOT TO SEE THIS SHIT AT FRIENDS HOUSES

IF YOU DIG RETRO AND PERIOD STUFF WITH CHARACTER, FLAIR AND GROOVE, DROP IN, OR CONTACT LOUIE AND MIKEY AT 'RE SOULD' IN BRUNSWICK HEADS, THEY HAVE BEEN DOING THIS THING FOR TWENTY YEARS AND ARE THE REAL DEAL, GENUINE ARTICLE . . . . A PASSION FOR THE THINGS FROM YESTERDAY THAT DESERVE AND RECEIVE SERIOUS RESOULING . . . . THEY DO INTERNATIONAL TOO.

Tuesday 15 January 2013

THE COOLER THAN CHILLED CUCUMBER BEEZA GOLD STAR 500 - IN FLAT TRACK AND SCRAMBLES GUISE . . . . AS MUCH I LOVE THE BEEZA BIG INCH, ONE LUNGER IN CLASSIC CLUBMAN TURNOUT THE STYLE THAT ALWAYS GAVE ME THE BIGGEST HORN IS WHEN STRIPPED DOWN TO DIRT MODE . . . . ONE OF THE PRETTIEST MOTORS EVER DESIGNED LOOKS ITS FUNKIEST WHEN SITTIN BETWEEN KNOBBIES AND WIDE BARS

The legendary lumpy Birmingham ball buster is without a doubt a fucking gorgeous bit of two wheeled sex in its more common format of the definitive clubman road racer made famous during the heyday of the Ace Cafe/Ton-Up lads and those who punted the big single around the numerous old airfield based tracks that were so popular in the Old Dart . . . . that said, my personal favourite versions have always been those destined to a life of sliding, jumping, bucking and barking on the scrambles and oval tracks of the UK, Australia and the U.S of A where their reputation was equal to and even beyond that of their gleaming, clean, slick shod brethren. 

It might be something to do with spirit of McQueen from 'The Great Escape' seeming to always haunt my thoughts on classic off road action, even though he and Bud were peddling Trumpies away from the Nazis, or it may be the fantastic fucking noise these potentially leg breaking beasties blast from their single, reverse cone mini megas, more likely it's a combination of the whole bloody caper, the complete package of a super cool lookin bike that goes like the proverbial scalded pussy cat with no lights, no rego and no fear . . . . whatever it is, the BSA Gold Star 500 is worth its weight in cool when doin it in the dirt or in circles.

THANKS TO 'JOHNNYKABQ' AND 'YORCHIE' FOR THE POOTUBE ACTION.

Sunday 13 January 2013

"I LOVE A SUNBURNT COUNTRY" . . . . FORGET THE SUNBURNT SHIT, THE ENTIRE BLOODY COUNTRY IS SEEMINGLY ON FIRE, ALMOST FROM EAST TO WEST . . . . I FEEL GUILTY BITCHIN ABOUT THE HEAT WHEN OTHERS ARE LOSING EVERYTHING THEY OWN FURTHER SOUTH . . . . BUT FUCK . . . . IT'S HOT AS SATAN'S ARSEHOLE, AT FIVE THIS ARVO I FELT COOL FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL DAY . . . . ALAS, ONLY TEMPORARY.

STOPPED BY THE RIVER AT FINGAL AFTER A NINETY MINUTE JAUNT THROUGH THE DAPPLED LIGHT OF THE HINTERLAND SEMI-NOTOPHYL RAINFOREST, AT LEAST THERE WAS A COOLING SEA BREEZE, BUT THE AIR WAS STILL STICKY WITH BRACKISH SEA SPRAY AND FLYING SAND . . . . A QUICK SMOKE, A PISS, A COUPLE OF SHOTS FOR THE BLOG AND BACK ON THE PURPLE PENIS HEADIN HOME TO MAKE DINNER FOR MY DEAR OLD MA AND ME, FELT GOOD TO GET AWAY BUT NOT REALLY FULFILLING, MUST BE THE WEATHER I SUPPOSE . . . . I GOT A SWELLING ITCHY BRAIN, SWELLING ITCHY BRAIN.
LOOKING ACROSS THE RIVER AT THE LEGENDARY 'BIG GOLF BALL' . . . . SERIOUSLY.
WESTWARD HO, THE NEW BRIDGE AND THE FURNACE OF AN INLAND HELL
IF YOU MAGNIFY THE PHOTO YOU CAN JUST MAKE OUT THE CITY IN THE HEAT HAZE
MAYBE DITCHING THE BARS ON THE PENIS, SICK OF CLIPPING MIRRORS WHILE SPLITTIN LANES

Thursday 10 January 2013

TENPOLE TUDOR "SWORDS OF A THOUSAND MEN" . . . . IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE PUNK REVOLUTION OF '76/'77 THE AIR WAS DANK WITH SERIOUS AND UPTIGHT PRATS BRINGING GLOOM AND DOOM TO EARDRUMS ALL OVER THE PLANET . . . . THANK FUCK FOR THE LIKES OF EDWARD TUDORPOLE AND HIS MADCAP ACCOMPLICES . . . . ROCKERS AND BIKERS MEET MEDIEVAL MADNESS, BREAK OUT YOUR CHAINED MALE !!

HUMOUR AND TAKING THE PISS WAS SO THIN ON THE GROUND AMONG THE PRETENSION AND POSTURING OF MUCH OF THE POST PUNK BRIGADE IT QUICKLY BECAME PLAINLY DULL IN MANY INSTANCES . . . . DO SOME RESEARCH, CHECK YOUR HISTORY, CREW LIKE EDWARD TUDORPOLE KEPT THINGS A LITTLE BIT LIGHT IN THE MODE OF CLASSIC POMMY HUMOUR, TAKING THE PISS, TAKING THE COMIC ANGLE IN A WORLD FULL OF INTENSITY OVERLOAD . . . . WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE DAMNED, THE RAMONES AND THE DICKIES, WE WOULD HAVE DROWNED IN A SEA OF ANGST !!!

NEIL YOUNG "HEY, HEY, MY, MY" [INTO THE BLACK] FROM 'RUST NEVER SLEEPS' . . . . MEANWHILE, FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF MY BRAIN AND SOMEWHERE DEEP IN THE WINTER'S DEPTHS IN IOWA, SOMETHING WAS STIRRING . . . . THE KING IS GONE BUT HE'S NOT FORGOTTEN, THAT'S KINDA APPROPRIATE . . . . UNCLE NEIL, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE . . . . OH, UNLESS YOU'RE A DYED IN THE WOOL SOUTHERN MAN I GUESS.

NOW THAT YOU'VE SHUT DOWN THE DISCO IN THE CORNFIELD YOU CAN GET YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH GOOD OL' UNCLE NEIL . . . . LAUGH OUT LOUD BUDDY, CHEERS.

CHIC "GOOD TIMES/RAPPERS DELIGHT" LIVE AT THE BUDOKAN 1996 . . . . ALL THOSE HATERS, LEAVE NOW, THE LOVERS, RELAX, KICK BACK AND GET YOUR FREAK ON . . . . FOR ME, CHIC WAS 'THE' BAND THAT FOCUSED THE ESSENCE OF MID SEVENTIES DANCE/FUNK/DISCO TO A LASER SHARP BEAM . . . . THIS BASS LINE ALONE SPAWNING AN ENTIRE SUB GENRE OF MUSIC THAT BECAME HIP-HOP . . . . RIP BERNARD EDWARDS

HECKLERS AND HATERS PISS OFF, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A NEAR SCHYZOPHRENIC PERSONALITY, PUNK, FUNK, DISCO JUNK, IT'S ALL JUST TUNEAGE TO ME, I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH RECONCILING THAT SHIT SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER, MY MATES COULD NEVER FIGURE ME OUT EITHER. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUNKY FUCK WHAT IT IS, AS LONG AS IT'S LEGIT . . . . JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO SPEND A SECOND OF MY TIME TOLERATING MEDIOCRE, MIDDLING, MUNDANE, MINDLESS DROSS BECAUSE THAT SHIT AIN'T EVER GONNA HAPPEN - BIKES, CARS, FILMS, BOOKS, ART, FOOD, BOOZE, MUSIC, PEOPLE, ANYTHING, WHATEVER IT IS, GIVE ME SUBSTANCE, NOT JUST FUCKING SURFACE . . . . I'LL BE TRUE TO SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME 'FEEL' AND MOVES ME, FOR LIFE, AND THIS BAND, THEIR MUSIC AND ITS PLACE IN THE MASH-UP OF ALL THE SHIT I LOVE, IS AMONG MY MOST CHERISHED AND WILL FOREVER REMAIN THAT WAY.

THIS OUTFIT GAVE A NEW DEFINITION TO 'IN THE POCKET' AND 'IN THE GROOVE' THAT HASN'T BEEN OUTDONE TO THIS DAY, SO FUCKING TIGHT YET SO MUCH SPACE AND OPENNESS YOU COULD DRIVE A KENWORTH B-DOUBLE BETWEEN THE DOTS AND STAVES, SUCH A RICH YET SIMPLE DEPTH TO THE TUNES THAT THEY ENVELOPE YOU BUT STILL LEAVE YOU TOTALLY FREE TO MOVE YOUR SOUL . . . . OH YEAH, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL . . . . GOOD TIMES . . . . HELL YEAH !!!

Tuesday 8 January 2013

NOTE TO WES - "PROGRESS REPORT ON WILLIS BOLT SWAP" . . . . WHEN I FIRST SWAPPED THE OLD, MODDED ZENITH/BREATHER SET-UP FOR THE DELIGHTFULLY SIMPLE BCM FILTER AND WILLIS BOLTS THERE WAS A DEGREE OF UNCERTAINTY ABOUT HOW IT ALL WOULD GO ABOUT DOING ITS JOB . . . . NOW, AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS OF USUAL HARD FLOGGING, THE REPORT IS IN . . . . HUNKY BLOODY DORY !!

Yes indeedly my fine, bearded, raccoon loving friend, all seems to be perfectly functional. There is no sign of any untoward movement, flexing or stress at the throttle body side of things, no loosening of bolts or even a need to re-tension the little fuckers after getting it up to temperature in the first couple of weeks, it's all just sitting there doing the job in its beautifully understated, minimalistic way. The totally exposed element still has me a little worried in the rain but no sign of breaking down or faltering under revs . . . . yet . . . . ha, ha, ha !!

As for Kim's gorgeous Willis bolts, these sexy little things are also apparently doing their bit with utterly efficient aplomb. As we knew and suspected, the fact that the scavenging/breather runner is no longer attached there is a slight degree of increase in oil usage now that all the fumes and vapours aren't being fed directly back into the original air mix/filterbox set-up but there is no weeping or leaking from the business of the Willis bolts, either through the element or at the head/bolt faces . . . . I have had the micro elements out once for a bath and cleanup and there was no undue buildup of oil in them at all, so, all things considered mate, I reckon the entire sheboinker at this stage rates a big fat thumb in the bum for fit, finish and effectiveness . . . . mind you, I'm not a mechanic's scrotum but I've seen enough over the last thirty odd years to have a decently educated guess.

So big fella, if you or anybody else out there are on the hunt for a replacement for your stock HD fuelie airfilter/breather shitfight, get onto Kim Boyle and hook yourself up with this tasty trio of terrifically tidy two wheeled tidbits . . . . Boyle Custom Moto, fuck yeah !!!

Monday 7 January 2013

"ANCHORED DOWN IN KC TOWN" OR "ANGER IS AN ENERGY - THE GRUMPY GUIDE TO COOL SCOOTS" . . . . LIKE MANY OF YOU, I'VE FELT QUITE PRIVILEGED TO FOLLOW SOME EXCEPTIONAL BIKE BUILDING OVER THE LAST YEAR . . . . AND NOT JUST THE HIGHER PROFILE DUDES EITHER, LOVELESS ENGINEERING IS ONE, NOOT IS ANOTHER AND HERR VON HERR TO NAME BUT THREE . . . . AND KC's ANCHOR MOTORSICKLE.

Since the end of the Northern summer, Anchorman has been hunkered down in Hermit HQ somewhere in the general vicinity of Kansas City ['Well I'm goin to'] and focused on rebuilding what was already a fucking universally cool ironhead chop in between running a business, doing the family thing and fighting with himself on a near daily basis . . . . I just dropped into home for a late lunch today and had a quick squiz at what was a happenin in Blogland and there it was, staring me straight in the piehole, the finished article, the baddest, coolest, sweetest, skinniest Crack Pipe in existence, a totally done deal . . . . shame it's the middle of winter !!!

I know I tend to get all moist around the edges at moments like this, but frankly, I couldn't give a fuck, when something moves me, whether it's music, art, film, cars or bikes, I'm gonna jabber my ugly head off and this black beauty is certainly worthy of some serious wet spotting . . . . so perfectly considered, so precisely poised and so marvelously minimalist in every conceivable way, you wanna talk about 'balance', 'proportion' and just plain old getting it right, then Anchorman's Crack Pipe is the text book illustration of it. And like all great builds before it, while the overall theme is classical chopper in every respect, it's inevitably like seeing it all for the very first time, with innocent, fresh, childlike eyes and the feeling is always . . . . fan-fucking-tastic !!!  

Check out the Anchorman at http://theanchormotorcycleshop.blogspot.com.au/ and get hip to so much more than just period correct motorsickles . . . . good on ya mate . . . . bloody perfect !!!

Friday 4 January 2013

"SPLITT DECISION" - CLIFFORD HOAD'S HOMAGE TO 60's SHOW CAR EXCESS . . . . FASTIDIOUSLY PUT TOGETHER BY THIS LOOSE UNIT NUTTER OVER THE LAST TWENTY YEARS . . . . SENSORY OVERLOAD OF THE T-BUCKET KIND, 440 UP FRONT, SOILED TROUSERS IN THE BACK . . . . LUCKY CLIFFY WAS MAD BEFORE HE STARTED THE THING . . . . IT'S A HAIR'S BREADTH BETWEEN LUNACY AND GENIUS . . . . YOU GUESS.

THAT'S CLIFFORIS IN THE RICHARD PETTY TEN GALLON HAT, YOUNG ZEN IN THE MIDDLE AND THE LOVELY LISA ON THE OTHER SIDE, THEY ARE ENJOYING THE LONG WAITED FOR DELIGHTS OF THE EPIC BUILD THAT "SPLITT DECISION" HAS BEEN . . . . CLIFF IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S ARCH LOONIE PERFECTIONISTAS, HE IS SIMPLY NOT CAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING HALF-ARSED, DRUMMING IN 'KINGS OF THE SUN', SLIPPING INTO SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FLAMBOYANT, MAKING HIS OWN DRUMS, COLLECTING THE OCCASIONAL 'HOT WHEELS CAR' . . . . OR VIRTUALLY SINGLE HANDEDLY FABBING UP HIS OWN UNIQUE VISION OF A CLASSIC HOT ROD. SO MUCH OF THE SPLITTER WAS PUT TOGETHER BY THIS FREAK GENIUS RECLUSE, ALL THE IDEAS WERE HIS ALONE, IF YOU KNOW THE MAN, NO SURPRISES THERE FOLKS . . . . TAKE YOUR TIME AND CHECK OUT THE DETAIL IN THIS TOTALLY TRICKED T-BUCKET, ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER WILL GRAB YOU BY YOUR EYEBALLS BEFORE LEADING YOU ONTO THE NEXT, FUCKING REMARKABLE . . . . CLIFFORIS, LOVE YOU MATE AND SO STOKED IT'S DONE . . . . WELL, EXCEPT THE PLUG LEADS IN THE DIZZY . . . . TE HE HE !!!!